dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
