Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
