Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
