I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
