Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The chlamydia really affected his face.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm bleeding and have questions
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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