if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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