Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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