ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
