It's like God shit irony all over that family
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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