A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
