Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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