I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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