doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Semen is not good for contacts.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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