and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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