is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
