wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
