Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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