I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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