so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
