drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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