and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I didn't notice because vodka
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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