If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You're a waste of cheezeits
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
