I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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