Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
