i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Semen is not good for contacts.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You ate ashes out of my bong
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
