And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize