on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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