just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
