The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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