She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
