Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
