Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
