I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
