So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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