Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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