I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
