I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize