yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
