I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
