when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
