So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
