There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just puked most of my soul out..
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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