I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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