Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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