I'm going to jail i love you
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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