I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my sisters under your porch take her home
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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