Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
