I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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