Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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