She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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