Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
