OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
