I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize