Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
