I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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