I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm just crazy horny about you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
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